* I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

* You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

* I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

* Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.

* ***The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and trysending again.' (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can seehow many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

* Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

* I've run away to join a different circus.

* I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Margaret' instead of 'Steve'

Google just keep giving, and their next product is FREE internet acess via TiSP.

Thanks to Richard Maynard for the link.

How many of you can relate to this:

Thanks to Martin Jones for the link

Fancy watching some all time greats in 30 seconds? Then this is the site for you:

http://angryalien.com/

Some titles include:

Pirates of the Caribbean 1,2 and 3
March of the Penguins
Die Hard
Napoleon Dynamite
Saw
The Grudge
Kill Bill
Spiderman 3

I just found out about this site which is rather funny: http://www.starz.com/features/bunnyclub/bond/index.html

If you want a little light entertainment and if you like James Bond (as bunnies) then you should also find it funny.

The first episode of the 3d animation series finds Jeb behind the tech support desk, eager to eat his subway but plagued my idiotic callers...

I'm a little late on this one but it's still quite amusing

* TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking b*llocks.

* BLAMESTORMING. Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

* SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

* ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

* CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.

* PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

[More]

On the 22nd of this month (December 2006) make sure you have some special time for world peace.

For more information go here.

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The full run of Hugh sketches from The Armando Iannucci Shows.

Thanks to Alex Studd for pointing this out.